Grief: How Does One Adjust to Grief?

Grief: How Does One Adjust to Grief?

You don’t really adjust but you do, at some point, go on with your life.  Grieving is hard work really it is.  For when you wake up you are in grief, as you go through your day you are in grief, and when you go to bed your grief goes with you.  You find that the ones you love you can’t call them, hold them, love them, hang out with them any longer.  What you totally enjoyed doing together you have to do it alone or go with someone else which for a time just is not the same.  Adjusting to life without the one you love can be more difficult for some than it is for others.  What each of us has to do after the loss of a loved one is to fill the void that hovers our all that we do.

Have you ever broke a mirror into hundreds of little pieces…well that can be what your grief feels like for you.  Like you have been crushed into a thousand pieces and there is no way to put you back together.  When we feel like this what we are really doing is defeating our self and to truly deal with the problems at hand.  It shows an unwillingness t accept the death of our loved ones and because we stay locked into the broken mirror syndrome we just stay there which hurts us. We have no hope if we don’t do something different at some point to change things.  Yes, everyone is different and all grieve differently and I have told you that numerous times.  The problem is if we stay in lock down mode it hurts us way longer than it should and when we hurt those around us also hurt.

We all know reasons we stay in lock down mode, but how about changing your verbiage and impose material reasons for moving on.  Our life is short on this earth.  While we are on it let us learn something from the pains of life and use what we learn to help other people.  That can give us hope.  No, it is not easy to move on into the unknown future but if you want to get better then at some point you need to change something you are doing and add something for yourself.  One day at a time, one thing at a time.  Fill up your voids by doing something different that you did with your loved one. 

If you stay in lock down mode your grief will continue and you will stay in grief.  I am not telling you today, tomorrow, next week, or whenever…but at some point you need to begin adding things to do in your life and then do them.  One thing here, one thing there, and allow yourself to have a good day. Let the loss of your loved one actually inspire you to be a better person. Do you really want to live your life in limbo or give your life purpose again?  Death is real and we all must admit that.  All of us will die at some point if the Lord tarries.  It is not always easy to get over the loss of those we loved, but all of us, at some point, must begin to see what it does to us to stay in lock down mode.  We also hurt those around us as well.  We don’t mean to it just happens because we feel like we do.

You won’t forget those you love.  You won’t forget those you lost, but you can very well forget to live with joy in your heart.  No one can tell you that you have grieved long enough.  No one can tell you how to grieve either.  You grieve because you cared and there is no specific way to grieve no matter what anyone tells you.  We all have to make our own way through, but it sure is a lot easier if we go to God in prayer and each day give Him your day and ask Him to guide this one day.  At some point even you will see life again. 

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