You just don’t understand what they did to me!!! Do you think that when you hear someone say you need to forgive someone? Do you cringe when their name is mentioned? Do you talk about them behind their back? Do you go out of your way to avoid them? Then you need to do some work on you!!! Yes, I said on you. You have no control over someone else, but you do have it over you. Maybe you have been carrying around no forgiveness, hate, anger, irritations, and a myriad of other feelings and maybe they don’t come out very often…except for when someone or something triggers something that reminds you how you feel in your gut. Well, it is time all of us take a hard look at our inner feelings about people who rub us the wrong way.
It is your peace that is at stake here
Regrettably, the grudge you’re holding is hurting you way more than the person you are holding the grudge against. Maybe someone hurt you years ago and yet every time you think about them, their name comes up, you run into them, or even the sound of their name….you feel your pain all over again. The truth is un-forgiveness hurts us way more than it will hurt the one we are angry with. Un-forgiveness robs us of peace in our soul. Sometimes people didn’t even realize they hurt us and even if they did they might never feel sorry for what they did, yet we go around feeling anger many times over and somehow want them to suffer like we did. Stop! It hurts you. Also, the longer you wait to forgive, the longer the wrong, imbalance, or wrong (in your mind) will burn in you.
Don’t we somehow replay in our minds what someone did to us? We didn’t see peace over it so we bring it up and up again and it churns inside of us. When we forgive someone it frees us. You don’t have to go to them and you don’t even have to restore the relationship. But………………once you choose to forgive them you can release the hurt in you. Forgive that person or persons because you want and need peace. Now, let it go!
Get rid of the guilt
Guilt is a feeling we don’t like to have. It eats away at you and causes you grief within yourself. However, there comes a time you need to make a decision to forgive yourself and others. We do not need to carry the guilt around churning it up. We can deal with it now and let it go. You can’t change one thing from your past up to this very moment…but you can change your choices and actions right now. Once we let something go we sure can breathe in our soul better. We can’t make others feel what we feel, and we can’t change our past…but neither can they. Something happened…maybe many things happened that got you to the point where you don’t forgive, want to forgive, and somehow think you deserve to carry around the guilt even for what might not have been your fault. Even if it were your fault…do you really want to spend your life with inner turmoil? Forgiveness not only removes the heavy burden you’ve been carrying around, but forgiveness can end the guilt you feel as well.
Get rid of the yuck in your soul
No, it is not always easy to let the pain you have been carrying around with you go, but it sure is necessary for the peace of your soul. When we are hurting, angry, un-forgiving, and so much more we carry around the garbage and bad vibrations that none of us needs. Our soul is heavy with wrong energy. When we are hurting and not forgiving others we are not full of the life God wants us to be. We don’t produce the good fruit God desire for us to produce. It is when we truly choose to forgive that we can get the peace back that was so missing from our life.
Un-forgiveness is a big deal. It is robbing you of your peace. Forgiveness necessitates humbleness and giving in to do things God’s way. . It allows setting aside the notion that you think and believe you can’t forgive or are to big even to forgive. After all…..they wronged you and you have wanted them to somehow hurt for what they did. Forgiveness is the thing that breaks through and releases us from the pain we have been carrying around.
Open the door and forgive
Right now maybe you don’t even see the good that come when you truly forgive someone. Your peace for one, but when we forgive something happens inside of us. Somehow others can forgive us even if they don’t know what has changed within your life. Even if you don’t think you have hurt someone in your life…we all have. It is like saying we don’t sin. If you say that you are a liar. We all sin at times. But we also by words and deeds hurt others even if we don’t know we did it. Maybe a remark we said hurt someone who was dealing with something in their own life. Maybe they have had pain you know nothing about. Maybe generational curses plagued them and the words someone said ate at their own soul. We don’t always know who we have hurt but we have all done it in some way. Maybe someone or even many should forgive us and have not yet done so. However, we can’t make anyone forgive us, like us, or love us…and we can’t make them think good of us. But we can get right with God, and we can make that choice to forgive those who have hurt us in any way. It is a choice!!! So go ahead right now and choose to forgive.
Sometimes it is our own family who hurt us
In fact, many times over it is our family that hurt us in some way. We don’t expect love ones to hurt us and when they do in whatever way they did…it hurts. It hurts deeply when family betrays our love and trust and yet every day in all the world, and in all cultures in the world family betrays family members maybe over and over again and we wonder how in the world can they do that to us…our family! Why would someone in our own family hurt us? Well, why do we do it? Maybe how we were raised, maybe they were treated a certain way and what is not right or normal was a thing that happened to them and they don’t either not know better, or think what they are doing is okay and right someone. Even, if in their soul they know it isn’t. Maybe something happened to them in their life and they have not dealt with their own pain. We don’t always know the why but we can change our destiny right now today and choose to do what is right in God’s eyes and begin the journey of forgiving all those who hurt us. Maybe it won’t change your physical pain if that was involved, but it can change your mental pain and suffering, and give you a peace you have not known prior. Nothing holds people together like a good family bond so give your relative the benefit of your forgiveness…and change your heart. Maybe they will not see it, get it, or even care…but your Father in heaven sees it and is looking at your heart. Once you forgive, be open to new starts. Put this incident behind you so you can start over. Let it go. Now God can deal with them but your soul is free and you can have peace.
Your kids and forgiveness
You show your kids and others you love that forgiveness is possible. That forgiveness is real, and that forgiveness is a necessity. We betray our kids when we don’t forgive. When we don’t show them that even though others hurt us for whatever reason…we can be bigger and forgive them. Being a child in this evil world is very difficult. The longer we live in this world the more evil we see. One good thing we can show our children is that we can forgive others. It is a great example for our children. We show love, forgiveness, and humility and they will learn these things as well. Don’t trash people to your kids or they grow up and think that it is okay. Show them the character of Jesus and what He said and did…and let them learn good instead of hate and un-forgiveness. There’s no better way to instill/impact a spirit of forgiveness in your children than by readily and easily forgiving others that have hurt you in some way. We can teach our children so much just by being willing to forgive and let things go.
Your life matters
So now take your life back, and understand that your life does matter. You are important and God loves you. It is when we really do forgive others that it breaks whatever power they have over us. We take back our life and we don’t give them the right, any longer, to hold us powerless over our own life. We don’t have to allow others now to keep us in their power but we give our power over to God and He can restore the peace in our heart. Forgiveness fixes you. It might never reach the person who hurt you, but God’s justice in His time is perfect. You don’t stay a victim of them any longer. You need to let your feelings go and forgive. Stop being stubborn by holding onto to your pain and let it go. You need to let it go.
Everyone is living and trying to get through life
We can’t truly judge another person’s motives because we don’t see what God sees. Maybe God is working on them just like God is trying to work on you/me. The person who hurt you /me was likely not intentionally hurting you. Really people, maybe they don’t or didn’t know that what they said or did hurt you. Even it they did know…….we don’t always see what they are dealing with either. We are all real good at hiding our heart and not showing what is going on in our life. Take for instance a small thing like when someone asks you how you are and you say you are fine…when you are hurting to the depth of your soul. Maybe even what they did or said was nothing more than a bad decision on their part…and you surely have had many of those as well. Admit it. You are not perfect and you have made many mistakes and said and done dumb things. Maybe they are trying to live their best life and do the best they know how and maybe they are failing miserably. Maybe they even want to be a better person but how they have lived, grew up, and who they have hung out with have made it difficult for them to be the kind of person they want to be. Maybe they are an evil person even……………but you don’t want to become like them. So………….forgive them and let it go. God will deal with them as God is trying to deal with you…in His time…not yours.
Extend forgiveness to others
Compassion is necessary, and so is empathy. By forgiving the wrong-doer you’re putting into practice the spiritual principles God is trying to instill in you. Take into account how others were raised, who raised them, what went on in their life, and try to find some compassion in why they act like they do. We really can’t put ourselves in someone else’s shoes…but we can try to understand how they got the way they are. Try to find plausible reasons for why they do what they do/did…and give it to God. God is not just working on each of us…He is trying to reach this world by us. We can all choose to make a difference and we can all choose to forgive even if we don’t want to at the moment, or think they deserve our forgiveness. Remember it frees us and we need this freedom.
Forgiveness heals you
The pain, sorrow, guilt, and sadness begin to soften in your heart and heal you when you forgive. Forgiveness is medicine for the soul, and Jesus is the great healer. When you forgive, really forgive, you get to the point where you can move on. Not Everyone who hurt you is a bad person. Do you realize that people can do good things all there life that is honorable and good, but in a moment they hurt someone maybe out of anger or just by a bad choice and they will be remembered not for all the good they did…but because of the hurt they caused…and many times they didn’t even mean to hurt someone.
Try to always remember something good they’ve done for you, or others, sometime in your/their life or relationship, and then try to find some mercy and grace for them. Then reverse this to would you want others to judge you forever by something you did? Would you want God to judge you for the things you have done and never show you grace or mercy? We all want to be forgiven and fixed, but so many times we don’t want to forgive and get things right with others (and especially God).
We all mess up
Sometimes people just mess up. I know I have and I said unkind things I should not have said. I can be sorry all day or I can repent of it and ask God help me to do better. Most dumb things I said were not personal and I didn’t have an agenda or tired to hurt someone. I just messed up and said or did something. Sometimes we say things about, let’s say, how someone looks. We really didn’t mean anything bad, but what we said gets back to that person and it hurts them. A cycle begins. Yes, it is always better and good not to talk about people…but if we did it we should not have and we need to repent of it and get right with God. Most of the things people do really were not done as malicious, intentional, or aimed at you – you were just the innocent bystander to their actions. They didn’t intentionally not invite you to the party, they just didn’t have enough room for more people…yet something like that can hurt for a long time because you felt rejected.
Let me say this in closing
What if someone does not call upon you for whatever you felt they should have? Do you know their heart? Do you know what they are going through in their life? Do you know if they are carrying around something they don’t feel they can share with you about something hurting them? We just don’t see the heart as God does. Even if they did it on purpose and didn’t call on you or invite you to something…it is okay. You don’t have to hate them for it…or carry around un-forgiveness. Life is just way to short to hate and hold grudges.
Family is the worst. We hurt each other, hold grudges, and then over time the guilt can come in and we don’t know how to fix it. How many people have held grudges and someone dies or gets hurt and you can’t make things right? Is that hatred really worth being in the chains of un-forgiveness? Life is just way too short. We can’t always fix what happened with someone, but we can all pray, repent, and get right with God. You want free…forgive. You want peace in your soul…forgive. Won’t you feel guilty for not repairing the family bond and allowing for past wrongdoings to remain in the past? One more thing you know when you really forgive someone…you don’t ever bring it up again. They might mess up again, but you don’t bring up what you forgave. What if God did that to you? When God forgives us for something because we repented and asked Him to forgive us….GOD DOESN’T BRING IT UP AGAIN AND SAY SEE YOU MESSED UP AGAIN. Life’s too short to carry grudges. You and the person who hurt you will eventually move on from earth. Don’t let your soul be in bondage to un-forgiveness any longer. Let it go. Even if they never forgive you…let your soul be free by even forgiving yourself and now go and sin no more.
Isn’t it time to let the past be the past and bygones be bygones? Isn’t time to heal? Isn’t it finally time to let stuff go and use your energy for better things?
LET’S FORGIVE! GO AHEAD….YOU CAN DO IT!