Rejection

Rejection:

 We all have been rejected for, and by, someone in our life.  Some of those times were okay and did little to us, while others devastated us. It is no fun to feel rejected.  The funny thing is that most of the things people reject us for are just stupid things but we get hung up on them.  I was talking to my five year old granddaughter and she said that her “best” friend at school wanted to play with someone else.  To us we might say “so”!  But I do think that we all really need to understand what happens.  She can take that as a rejection and begin to tell herself that no one cares about her after all her best friend didn’t want to play with her right now, or we can tell her that it is okay to have more than one friend/s and let her know this is not really rejection.  Things as simple as this keep many people from doing and trying anything because sometimes people/kids/family/friends just don’t realize that what they said really hurt you.  No one likes to really be made fun of, but sometimes what someone really is saying is not a put down it is just their way but we totally blow it out of proportion.  We overthink what was said/happened and we brood over it like it must be gospel truth or something.  

I wanted to learn spanish…but I, like many others, said the words silly and was made fun of.  I didn’t want to try again.  I didn’t like being made fun of and now I am sure that they didn’t mean anything bad but I didn’t try again.  I let the fear of rejection and fun (at my expense) keep me from doing what I wanted to do.  It was worse than the rejection itself to me.  What a really bunch of scaredy-cats we are.  So what if someone made fun of us.  So what if someone else rejected us somehow.  Don’t we realize there are billions………………………………..  of people on this earth that will accept us for us.  What if I had learned spanish?  I would be talking it now instead of feeling like I failed.  I didn’t fail I gave up.  I gave up when I should have kept going no matter how silly I sounded at first.  I would have got it eventually.  

It is like that with most things in life.  We just give up before we make it to the destination we dreamed about.  I have dreams I still want to accomplish and today (even if no one else cares about my dreams and hopes) I am going to keep moving forward.  Doesn’t matter how old one is we can make it.  No one really cared that I went back to school and finished and got a doctorate in counseling.  I wanted to do it for me and to help others.  They could say why all they wanted to but it didn’t matter.  You see I felt led to do it and I give my time freely.  So what if I had to raise my kids first and do one class at a time. So what?  I got my degree as a doctorate student at 65.  Others might have given up and said so what that is silly.  Wasn’t silly to me.  You see if I can help one person, show Jesus to one person, do one good thing in my life then all those classes and time are worth it.  Why don’t I want to go out and work on the outside and earn money for this.  It is not me.  I don’t do well in front of people.  My hangup for sure.  That is another one of those things of rejection.  Even as a child all a teacher would have to say is I had to speak or give a report in front of people and I’d get sick.  I didn’t deal with that and no one helped me deal with it.   I figure now that if God wants me to talk to people He will open the door and my mouth.  Otherwise I do most of my counseling on line.  Why? One thing for me it is safer in my mind.  There are millions of people who want to talk and ask questions but don’t want to go to a doctor and spill their hearts out.  I am safe for them and they for me.  It is right now a win/win situation.  Also as for the safety of things I was prior raped and abused.  I don’t feel safe sometimes.  No ones fault it is just me, but I want to help others. Then since I deal with people all over the world I don’t know who is honest and would not try to hurt me since I talk to even many Muslims and even atheists out there.  So for me even my hang ups can help me/others and I stay pretty safe in the comfort of my own home.  

I also have health issues for which this makes it a lot easier to do.  I can tell you one thing I love helping people and I love people.  I don’t care if you are purple you deserve help.  We all fear something and mine is more talking in public.  Mainly because it is a hang up from many rejections in life.  Not all people can talk in public.  I have a son Andrew who is amusing at talking to people in public.  He is an inspiration.  I remember something someone said to me once…keep your chin up, keep your shoulders back stand up tall and don’t let them see how scared you are.  Now I know that is great advice for sure…but to me it didn’t work.  God put 365 fear nots in the Bible.  One for each day of the year.  I don’t think now it is so much I fear it as much as God took me a different direction to help people and that is okay with me.  Maybe sometime He will say stand up and talk and if He does…He will open my mouth to do so.  After all…what is the worst something could happen if I had to talk in public?  It could very well be the start of something great…but I personally won’t know if I don’t take that first step forward and do it.  

Well, I know most of my hang ups.  I have had 70 years to develop them even if I didn’t want them, but everyday I do something to move me forward in something I don’t really like doing.  One baby step at a time is all it takes.  Just like it took me 65 years to get my doctorate and many people over the years didn’t get it…God did.  You see it is not how old we are, how much money we have or don’t have, but do we want to accomplish something.  Most would give up when they had obligations and just not try any longer.  That was not an option for me.  I wanted to help people and with each class I took…there was someone that could get help.  I wasn’t a failure…I was a success.  I kept putting one foot, one class, and one prayer ahead of me.  God is good no matter what age we are.  
So today try something, do something that you always wanted to do.  Don’t be scared…move one step at a time.  So what if someone makes fun of you.  God doesn’t.  If you keep going at some point all that hard work will shine through and all those that made fun of you or rejected you over time…who cares?  Just move forward.  You are no mistake and neither are your wonderful dreams.  May God guide you one step at a time until you reach your goals. 

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