Grief: Questioning Everything (6)

Grief: Questioning Everything (6)

Why? Why? Why? When someone we loves die, has been sick and dies, is killed in an accident, is murdered, from some strange accident we ask ourselves why in the world did this have to happen. What could we possibly have done to prevent? Is it somehow our fault? Why wasn’t I there? Why did I leave? Why didn’t I walk or drive them to school/other? Why didn’t I do more in the relationship? Did I do something that caused this.  Well, the list of questions is endless by the way.  We can ask all day, guilt ourselves all day, and it doesn’t mean that the questions we ask here is any part of the reason that something happened. We don’t know why and all the guilt feelings doesn’t make it so.

Just remember before we go on…in this fallen world there is evil all around us.  So then you might ask if God loves us why did He allow this? I don’t know and neither do you.  Some will come up with God just wanted this little angel with Him? Not so!  God doesn’t need us: We need God!   Why God allows things we will have to wait until we get there to find out.  Yes, God can stop things if He so chooses to, but God doesn’t stop everything. 

We can ask questions all day and never get an answer.  Life happens because we live in a fallen world.  That might be one of the best answers there is.  Let us talk war.  How many millions over time have died in war? Why? We all somehow believe (even the evil sides) that what they believe gives them the right to go to war and in war people die.  Good people die right along with the scum.  What are they fighting for anyway?  Many want their evil ways accepted while we want freedom.  Everyone plays the guilt game and our young people die in wars that should not be…but happen anyway. Take the scum Hitler who murdered millions of innocent people besides all the ones that were murdered in the war on all sides…and for what?  His hatred of everything he didn’t accept.  He was pure evil.  Real humans will never understand the hatred of this man and the evil he caused this world and all those living then probably asked the same question…why?  What people forget is, we as Christians, are just on a journey through this world. This is not our home.  Heaven is our home but to get there we have to deal and live in this fallen world until we die or Jesus comes for us.  No, it is not always an easy journey for the devil doesn’t want us to succeed.

There are probably a million questions we could ask as to why someone we loved died or left and there are probably a million questions that we just won’t get the answers to. We can choose to live in guilt and pain, or we can at some point look up and know life is still worth living and we can go on.  For some people that can be right away: for others a long time.  What is the perfect time to mourn? There isn’t one no matter what people tell you.  But….we do need to learn that if we stay in the state of grief and go around moping all the time people won’t want to be around us either.  God said that there is a time to mourn and a time to laugh and….  God doesn’t want you to hurt forever but He does know you will need to mourn.   When we mourn we are hurting…would you want your own children to hurt and hurt for long periods of time? NO! Of course you don’t want your family to hurt…well your family and God don’t want you to either.  Sometimes even through our pain we need to get out, put a smile on our face and go and do something that takes our thoughts off our pain.  It does help if only for a short time, but every time we do it gets a little easier.

No one has all the answers. In fact, most people don’t have many at all.  As I have said many people truly want to help but don’t know how so they say things that maybe hurt you in the process of thinking they are trying to help.  (Remember this: We don’t just mourn people. It can be for anything that we consider a loss).  There are no pat answers to why things happen or why did it happen to me or my family.  Maybe they just woke up one day and was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  But then even that answer would bring more questions that you aren’t going to get the answer to. 

Why so much evil in the world because at the fall evil was pretty much put in charge of the earth.  Not comforting for sure but our job is to love God, our families, and others and make it through.  We can not get through this world without having to deal with the evil of the world no matter how much we don’t want to. 

Don’t give up.  Bad just happens and it hurts so darn much that at times you can hardly breath, but God has given us hope that if we are faithful and love Him He will walk through this world with us in the good and the bad times.  You can talk to Him about your frustrations, your anger, your pain for He knows it.  You just might need to sit down with Him and tell him about all your pain and ask Him to help you through.  But again I say…never give up.  Your loved ones would not want you to give up if they love you.  Stand on Jesus and He will walk it with you.  Get godly help and medical help.  Remember one is for your spirit and one can help your body and yes, God did give us doctors…but He also gave us Christians to stand and pray with us as well. 


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