Grief: The Reality

Grief: The Reality

Nothing overtakes us like the death of a loved one or friend.  Death is sure no walk in the park for the one left to deal with the reality of a loved one.  Besides the pain in our very being most will also have to deal with taking care of arrangements, clearing out belongings, taking care of legal things, and when we are already totally exhausted this reality is at times too much.  The loss can significantly affect ones existence that is for sure. When we deal with the reality of a death we just don’t really know how to handle certain things.  The thing is we must just learn to deal with one thing at a time.  Our loss is real and so are all the things that go along with that loss.

Take for instance the person who has been sick for quite some time.  Our reality begins when they find out that they have something wrong.  Yes, they are the ones with the illness, but we are also the ones that have to begin to deal with “our” reality that they won’t be around for a long time.  We being, in our minds, to accept this reality and plan for its coming to a point, but when a loss is abrupt we have no time to even get used to the idea that someone we care about is gone.  Both are realities and we don’t want to deal with either kind. Even when we taken advance measures to deal with the certainty of death we still have to embrace that the moment of their death which in our minds is still unexpectedly too soon. We will find that we just can’t flee the reality of death.  Death is the end to the living on earth, but if you are a child of God…then you also know that death is just the beginning of life eternal.

Some people can get over their emotions of loss what seems quite quickly, while others just can’t let go of the pain and feelings they are having.  Is one better than the other?  No!  Everyone grieves differently.  Also, just because someone looks like they are not grieving doesn’t mean they are not grieving.  Some just don’t wear their feelings outwardly. 

As parents, we do all we can to protect our children…just to find in an instant that not only does their life come crashing down but so does ours.  We can’t protect our children from everything no matter how hard we try.  In an instant the doctor can tell us they have a horrible disease, or someone else can hurt them, or they can be killed by any number of things.  It is very difficult to lose a child.  We go through the what ifs, the whys, and we know that we would gladly give our own life to safe theirs.  Children just should not die before us as parents…but everyday kids die and our hearts are left with the reality they are gone. 

The reality of death can consume many people.  With all that is going on in this world at times it is just plain hard to deal with life…let alone the death of someone we cared about.  We can feel very alone when someone we care for has died…but we are not alone.  God will walk through our pain with us.  Some even get mad at God because He didn’t stop their death.  Yes, God could have we know that, but we all die at some point…and we don’t see the picture that God sees of each of our life.  God sees the entire picture of each of our lives, and although we don’t know why they had to go when they did our Lord knew and someday we will know.  Right now all we know is that someone we loved is gone and the hole in our heart is huge. We want to stop hurting yet each will hurt in their own way and time.  Although we don’t always understand it…our dying is the beginning of our living if Jesus is our Savior. Even in the worst of the reality of death…there is hope because of the Lord.  We will see our loved ones again.

Here are a few verses that might give you comfort: Ps 23:4, Ps 23:6, Ps 116:15, John 5:24, John 5:25, John 11:25-26, II Cor 15:53-54, II Cor 5:8, Phil 1:21




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